A Different Perspective

WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring..
3. God made my mom just the same like he made me.. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?
1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What' s the difference between moms and dads?
1. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
2. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.
3. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already close to perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

A Typical Night in the Sandlin House...

This is the sight that awaits me upon returning from jogging each night...

Babies don't keep

Yesterday, after a long morning at physical therapy, we finally made it home to our warm house. Ms. Gina, the therapist really worked Abigail with stretches and new positions and I'm happy to say that Abby can now turn her head 90 degrees - full range of motion! She was great for the first 30 minutes of the session, which was mostly play, but when it came to stretching she started to cry the fattest baby tears you've ever seen. Gina wasn't bothered by it - I guess she's used to working with itty-bitties. I, on the other hand, felt like I wanted to cry too. I read somewhere that babies have their own cry frequency that is exactly the right frequency to make their mother feel incredibly uncomfortable/stressed out. It's supposed to guarantee the fact that momma will come running to the rescue, even when no one else will. Abby is such a happy baby, though. Even through her tears of frustration with the stretching, she would look up at Gina and give her a big gummy grin!

After we arrived home, I planned to give Abby a bottle, then get some serious house cleaning done. Since we spent most of Monday out and about in Kennesaw, our laundry and dishes had piled up in a major way. But as soon as her bottle was finished, Abby was fast asleep snoozing in my arms. I glanced around the house at all the things I had to do...then glanced down at her little chubby baby-cheeks (which probably weigh at least a pound each - oh- mah-goodness, I die of cute!) and decided cleaning can wait.

One day Abby will not want to fall asleep on momma anymore. One day she'll be too big to rock, and she'll want to go play with the "big kids". And I'll wonder where my little baby GB went. And I'll miss her little sleepy baby cheeks on my chest.

So I held my sleeping baby on the couch...for three hours straight :)


Mother, oh Mother, come shake out your cloth
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing and butter the bread,
Sew on a button and make up a bed.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown shiftless as Little Boy Blue
(lullaby, rock-a-bye, Lullaby loo).
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
(pat-a-cake, darling, and peek-peek-a-boo).
The shopping is not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there is a hullabaloo.
But I'm playing "Kanga" and this is my "Roo."
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
(lullaby, rock-a-bye, lullaby loo).

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
For children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

Ruth Hulburt Hamilton, 1958

The Mother I Thought I'd Be...

I'm not the mother I thought I'd be.

All those years of thinking about the future and planning EXACTLY what it would be like - and I've now come to realize that things don't always turn out the way you planned, but that's okay.

- I planned to breastfeed Abby for her first year of life. And I did make it 9 weeks of pumping every 3 hours. But with the month-long nicu stay and IUGR and severe latching issues, we couldn't continue. I still glance at my The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding book from time to time and feel sad. Sometimes I see a mother nursing in public and wish things were different - that I could still share that bond with Abby. But then I remind myself that the method of feeding my child does not matter as long as I feed her. And my goodness, she likes her bottles! My 2lb preemie now weighs over 12lbs (1.5 lbs gained in the last 2 weeks alone!!!)

- I wanted to co-sleep with Abby in our room for the first year. However, within 2 months of her being home, I realized that both she and I get MUCH better sleep with her in her own room! She pretty much made the decision for us!

- I thought I'd be an incredibly clingy mother, constantly checking on Abby to make sure she's breathing at night, and running to pick her up if she makes the smallest peep. But I've learned that both she and I need our space sometimes, and she actually has a routine of fussing for 2 minutes before falling asleep. She'll fuss when I put her down, then when I come back to check onher, she'll look at me like I'm crazy and fall promptly asleep! Who knew that babies need alone time too?

- I thought I'd constantly be out and about on playdates and outtings with Abby. However, RSV season has kept us pretty much on lock-down and we can't take the risk of her being around small children until it warms up. In addition, classes like Kindermusic cost way too much for our budget, and we can just listen and dance to the radio at home! I'm really looking forward to our Mommy and Me Swim classes in the Fall, though!

- I thought I'd be able to get lots done at home and be able to work on losing the baby weight. The truth? I rarely do anything at the house that's not baby related and I'm still carrying an extra 40 lbs I don't have time or energy to lose right now. Oh, and my hips have spread from here to Texas - thanks, GB! I know I'll be able to lose the weight when the weather warms up - just right now it's not the top priority, know what I mean?

- I thought I would love staying at home, but the truth is that I'm ready to get back to teaching. Believe me, I know how lucky I am to get to stay home with Abby for her first year of life. I know that most women out there would give their left whatever to be able to stay home. But after years of working a job that I love and having a set schedule, it's been really hard to slow things down at home every day. Being on lock-down hasn't helped, and I feel like things have gotten too slow. So when Matt and I had the budget talk and he mentioned that we really needed me to bring in some type of income starting in the fall, I immediately burst into a smile and started making plans. I know leaving Abby each day will be incredibly hard, but I also know that it's what's best for all of us. At one year old, it will be great for her to have the socialization with other kids, and also good for her to get to independent from mommy at times.

- I had always heard about how relationships between husbands and wives change after the birth of a baby, and I planned to make sure it didn't with ours. But, truth be told, at the end of the day we're both exhausted and staying connected hasn't been a top priority. Matt is an amazing father and adores Abby, but I can't honestly say we've been setting aside time for just us. More on this later.

- I guess I thought I'd feel like a mother. Like there was this magical transformation that would happen and I would suddenly be changed into all the things I had imagined. But that didn't happen. Looking back at the past 5 months, I can see how much my life has changed and how much I have changed. But in the end, I'm still me....except now with the most extraordinary little person attached at the hip. My decisions are undeniably based on her every need. I think that most of what kind of mother I thought I'd be was based on my needs and how I pictured myself. Now I realize that at the end of the day, if my house isn't pristine, dinner made, and our social calendar full - that's okay! It doesn't make me any less of a mother. The most important thing is that Abby is loved and taken care of to the best of our abilities - even if to do that I can't be the mother I thought I'd be.

How Preemie Moms Are Chosen by Erma Bombeck

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?

Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.

As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.

Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.

Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles."Give her a preemie."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God?She's so happy."

"Exactly," smiles God."Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."

"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."

The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.

She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.

She will never take for granted a spoken word.

She will never consider a step ordinary.

When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it.

I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty, prejudice--and allow her to rise above them.

She will never be alone.I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."

"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

An "off" day

So today wasn't the best day for Abby. She was extremely vocal ALL morning, to the point where it sounded like she was yelling at Crinkle-puppy. When she wasn't yelling, she was giving this low moaning growl. I took her temperature, but she doesn't have a fever. I thought she might be teething, but she didn't seem to be chewing on her hands/toys much at all today. The only thing I can think of is her acid reflux is bothering her (we have been without her meds for 2 weeks now - Matt basically had to strong-arm the insurance company into finally mailing it to us. Apparently it is one of those they find cheaper to mail, but both the pediatrician nurse and the pharmacist dropped the ball in getting it ordered...so it made for a very acidic baby. I had the most horrible reflux during my pregnancy, so I really feel for the kid. Especially since she can't sit up on her own yet! Imagine reflux when all you can do is lie flat!!) and she is still worn out from the cabin this past weekend.

But then it got worse. The only time we could schedule physical therapy today was for 2pm - right smack in the middle of her nap time. I tried to get her to sleep on the way to the appointment, and she was fine until the therapist picked her up. Then she let out a blood-curdling scream like you've never heard before. You would think the child had just lost a limb! The therapist worked with her, screaming and all, while intermitently handing her back to me to calm down. I had no idea separation anxiety could start this early! The session was an hour long today, so basically Abigail wailed for an hour straight.

In the end I learned a few things
1. The at-home exercises are working! Abby went from being able to turn her head 35% to the right to 65%!
2. Any future PT sessions need to be done in the morning.
3. One of my favorite times of the week is directly after the session while I'm driving home, baby snoring in the backseat, frappucino in my hand, and music playing on the radio. It's the simple things, these days.

Of course, as soon as we arrived home I found the box of meds waiting at my doorstep and my sweet, happy baby has returned once more. I guess everyone is entitled to an "off" day, even when they're so stinking cute 99% of the time.

God Bless Shirley the Seahorse!

It's like a glow worm, but plays classical music/lullabyes for 5-8 minutes. And it's a pink seahorse.

It has successfully gotten Abby to conk out during nap times. And when she cries her "I just woke up and am still tired but don't know what to do with myself" cry, I rush in there and squeeze Shirley's belly and *POOF* Abby is fast asleep once more....for the next 5-8 minutes.

UPDATE: She just woke up and somehow miraculously BUMPED INTO said seahorse, making her sing, so I didn't have to rush in there! I may actually get to finish my lunch!