Friday, September 25, 2009

Reasons I'm frustrated:

1. Although I can nurse just fine with the lactation consultant helping, I cannot seem to do it on my own. Abigail SCREAMED every time we tried by ourselves after the LC left and I almost cried with her :(
I feel like once we get home, we'll be able to take our time and figure it out- hopefully.

2. Abigail is too small for our carseat! We even have one that is supposed to be for tiny babies, but it just swallows her :( We're bringing in another today to see if she will be able to go home in it. We need the harness straps to tighten more than they do on most.

3. The nurses won't commit to even GUESSING when she'll be going home. I sit in the nicu all day and see babies come and go - most are only there for a few days - and hear the nurses say "are you ready to take them home tomorrrow?" to the parents, and I'm just WAITING to hear that. What's so hard is that some of the babies are sent home on oxygen, or still with major apnea problems - problems much more severe than Abigail's. And now that she is gulping down her bottles (WE'RE AT ALL BOTTLES, ALL DAY!!!) I am getting so antsy to take her home.

4. My baby cries when I put her down to leave. So I hold her as much as I can - and we both LOVE it! But I just can't wait to have her home where I can hold her whenever she is upset and not have to leave her for hours on end.

5. My FMLA runs out next week, and Abigail isn't even home yet. Looks like I'll be talking to HR about a longer leave of absence, but I can't do that until the case manager writes my letter stating why Abigal needs full time care and cannot be in daycare for a year due to her immature immune system- which she can't write until I have a discharge date to give her - which none of the nurses will even speculate on! ARGH!

1 comment:

Calantha said...

So sorry you are having to deal with this. I won't say I know how you feel because obviously I don't. But I can identify with you on the breastfeeding issue. My babies would latch on fine, but then would only feed for a minute or two- not enough to really get anything. The LC was great, but even with all her help, Maddie, especially just didn't want anything to do with it. Finally on our third day at the hospital, I just gave in and gave her a bottle which she just about sucked dry! I cried too because I had been so determined to breastfeed. Unfortunately, it never worked for us. Hopefully, Abigail will cooperate more, but if she doesn't just know that the bond between the two of you will not be ANY less, and she will grow big and healthy just the same! My girls our such Mommy's girls even though they didn't breastfeed and they are right on track with their growth and development. So despite all the hype about breastfeeding, bottle feeding will work just as well...in fact, as I'm typing, my healthy chunky monkey (which is Maddie) is blowing raspberries on my leg- which she has just at this moment discovered to do! Of course I am not trying to discourage you! Keep on trying! I just wanted to offer some hopefully comforting knowledge if it doesn't work! And I know you want to bring her home so badly. I can only imagine how hard it is to leave her everyday. But I also know that the NICU staff there is incredible. According to my OB, that facility is one of the best in the southeast. So I am sure that they just want to make sure that sweet Abigail gets the best care that she needs and that she is fully ready to go home. And you know that they aren't telling you about release dates b/c they have to cover the tushies...to put it nicely. Imagine how frustrated you would feel if they gave you a guesstimate and then she ended up having to stay another week! That's why they are being so vague. All I can say is hang in there and know that people are thinking and praying for you, Matt and Abigail!

Callie